I don’t dream of jumping off buildings anymore. Now I just dream of jumping up. Up to heights where I no longer count as part of the human race.

Lately, I can’t seem to get enough air. I take in these huge breaths and it’s not enough. I’m suffocating, fighting to breathe, and something is holding me back. And I know it goes against science, but I just have this feeling that if I get high enough up there, the air would be cold and clean and cleansing.

When I was a kid, my next door neighbor’s house burned down. The fire trucks came and I got to breathe from one of the oxygen tanks. It was cold and perfect, and for a minute, I was away from the smoke and ash… just gone.

Call me an oxygen junkie. I can’t get high enough.