A lot there, lots of drama and emotion. The part that stars “I explained…” gets really hard to follow, possibly just cause of format or a typo or two.

I got a little confused too, only at the sentence that starts: “Now I remember seeing two kids” and ending with “to live with Pat.”
I think adding “again” after “when I saw them.. would clear up that sentence. Good Job tho.

Agreed with Wyatt. And good job tying up the introductions, and putting a nice, depressing bow on top.

points taken… I’ll see what I can do to clear that part up.
See, that’s the problem with trying to write at 10pm: things become confusing. This should be a reminder to me that I’m a person who functions up until roughly 9:30. After that, things that require significant thought sort of break down.
I appreciate you guys keeping me on my toes.

There; I revised the accused sections, hopefully they’re better than before.

Much better