hahahahahaha
that sounds exactly like sumone i kno…
but question.. how could sumone not like eyeliner??

lol thats an awesome way to describe those weapons

gah! The horror! The horror! covers eyes
I like the metaphor here (speaking as someone who abhors aforementioned beautification products)
Nicely written!

(except hairbrushes. Those, for someone with really long frizz for hair, hair brushes are my best friends.)