Not Finished With Me Yet
The words to describe what I’m feeling came to me today. As I stood in line waiting for food that tastes the same since you’ve been gone. They hit me and danced around in my head, trying to escape but my mouth would not pronounce them. Maybe that is why I forgot them. Maybe that if why I got a headache. Maybe.
It has been three years since I last saw you and it feels like three minutes. The time seems to blend into itself turning into one long string of have you’s and have you not’s.
When you left I didn’t know what to do so I held onto you. That faith lasted me about six months. After that it turned into anger. I lived to believe that you’d died that something fantastically horrible had happened to you. That lasted for about two months. I couldn’t bring myself to hate you like that. The past two years have been a blinding kind of numbness that I’ve just come to accept as normal, kind of like the way you breathe, no one taught you, you just do it.