A lot of tension portrayed here in a scary situation. I liked the use of dialog to get it all across, though it winds up sounding a little stilted somehow. Not even sure why, and that may just be the mood I’m in this morning.

you’re kind of switching the character’s roles here, like Bernice is the brave one at the end and Peter is the one that is finally afraid. I think they should remain static until the climax.

You forgot a question mark in the second paragraph hahaha.

So.. how many chapters are each of us going to write? And i think we should make an outline; it’d make things a ton easier for both of us.

i made an outline. well at least, I started one.