Good, finally alone in my room.
Just me and my music.
Then it starts:

Fuck.
I hate this.
I hate everything.
Well, I don’t hate everything.
I just hate doubting everything.

“How did he mean that? Does he not love my anymore?”

“Does anyone really care about me? Would anyone care if I just jumped?”

“Why am I even doing this? What’s the point?”

“Are my friends even real? Do I just like them becasue I have no one else?”

“I am so fat. I hate it.”

“Will things ever work out?”

Then I go out, still alone:

“Why did he look at me like that?”

“Maybe my boyfriend isn’t the right one.”

“Why can’t we be like that couple?”

“I need to be skinnier. Just look at her.”

“Is everyone staring at me?Why? Am i that ugly?”

Then with the ones I love, all is good again.

Why do I do this, although I hate it?
I can’t stop doubting.
I need to talk to someone about this.
But who?
Then it begins again:

“Is there no one I can talk to?”

“Does anybody care?”

I hate this.