Jesse giggled as he peeked over the stair banister at his father on the phone. He has no idea I’m watching!

“I really don’t know, Chris.” Go stand in the snow and piss. Jesse slapped a hand over his mouth to avoid laughing again.

“No, I’m really serious this time.” Come on, peeing isn’t a crime!

“That tree has been there for years!” That pee comes from too many beers! He was grinning from ear to ear now.

“You don’t really think we’d have it cut down, do you?” Now go on… squat down and poo! Again, Jesse stifled a giggle with his sleeve. He was unable to grasp the importance of his father’s conversation, being only six years old.

“I’m sorry, but if it’s all the same to you, cutting that tree down would cause our family much grieving.” Alright, alright. I’ve crapped and I’m leaving!