The Food Sux in HELL!

“Hello Satan, Lucifer, and the rest! Aren’t you getting tired of
all this? Can’t you do better? You know I’m going to save this
man’s soul. It’s what I do! I have to admit, though – you really
got him messed up!� Sister Laura did a cocky hip hop style
jig, smiling down at the floor as if to mock Satan and his

“Diee Bitch!”


“Go to Hell!”

“Already been there and the food SUX !”

“I’ll kill you both!”

“Not likely, asshole! Now stand up and fight that devil like a man, Jerry. Don’t let him take over your voice like that. Here, I’ve got something to read to you.”

She read the yellow post-it note aloud:

“Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur Nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo.”

“The doors lead everywhere, Jerry. Only you can close this one.”

View this story's 5 comments.