i’m all wrapped up in what used to be..

looking at old pictures..listening to the music i was obsessed with at the time..

what I didn’t know then, was that it would lead to the most depressing time of my life so far.

and for some reason I cannot fathom? I miss it.

Logically I don’t want that pain. no one would, and yet here i am, looking & smiling upon all the things that led to it, or even during it.
i’ve thought about calling old numbers, just to see if he’d even answer.

i think, maybe, just maybe the reason i miss it was because i was so bliss. just completely unaware of the danger i was surrounded by & the danger i was caught up in. i knew we were both in…trouble, an understatement, but it’ll do. and yet we kept pressing to keep in touch, to talk, so as not to fall under all the stress and agony that both of us were up against.

i miss the feeling of that time, the feeling of freedom, the feeling of thrilling danger, the feeling of forbidden love, the feeling of everything unknown.