As I look at her webpage I wonder when she got so tall. I wonder when she grew up so much. I wonder if she ever still thinks about me, the way I still wonder about her.

I can’t seem to forget her birthday, her phone number, her favorite color. All things a best friend would be expected to remember. But I’m no longer her best friend. I’m no longer her friend at all. She made that very clear.

There was a clique. They accepted her. She ditched me. End of story.

Sure, I’m over it but can’t I still wonder? Is that such a crime?

I’ve given up on talking to her. I no longer call her to wish her a happy birthday. She never responds so I gave up.

It hurts that she won’t ever talk to me. We used to share our deepest secrets back in the 5th grade. We always joked we were soulmates.

I wonder what she’s into now? Has her favorite color changed? Does she still hate cats? What is her favorite class in high school?

All these things and so many more I still wonder…