The sun set hours ago, but the lamp beside my bed was still on. And my eyes were still wide open, unable to be closed by sleep. The covers were clenched beneath my tense hands, for I could not allow myself to allow the day’s events to leave my stubborn mind. I wished that sleep would come and take me away on its nightly ride, but I could not pay the passage and so I was forced to lay awake with my troubled thoughts. Sleep might come so easily to others, but others were happy, and I was not. Happy people were able to leave behind their day and sleep away to the next chance at life. But when the day could be my last chance, then sleeping seemed pointless. But I wanted to sleep. I wanted to be happy. But wasn’t that the search that brought me to today’s gruesome events. But I didn’t find it, and so I was now not allowed sleep. My mind wouldn’t let me. So, now I lay awake with my thoughts, wishing they could be anyones thoughts but my own. A happy person’s thought would be much nicer than my own. Much nicer.