“This has got to be the life,” I think as I lay curled up beside my human (I call her “She”) in the wonderfully stinky fluffy blanket I decided to call mine.

Anyway, She’s looking at that square thing that all those other humans talk from while we laugh or yell back at it. (Sometimes I have even seen other dogs in it. Yeah, creepy, I know.) Suddenly, She scoots around and puts her head on me.

Now, normally this makes me happy. Today, however, not so. I know She is going to make that word because I found the precious foul smelling leftover; and I rolled in it! Couldn’t help it… I had to.

I squirmed to get out of my blanket and far away. She said something like, “blah blah blah Bath blah blah!” Then reached for me. Luckily, I am small and quick. Hey, She did say bath. That one, I understand. And I hate it. (Even if bacon follows. I know, it’s not fair.)

I bolted to the bed and dove under the cover, listening to her heavy steps behind me. Unfortunately, she caught me…Dog dammit!