Wow… That’s powerful…
(and you say you’re not a poet…)

Jeez, it is powerful. And I’m liking the metaphor going on inside it too.

Wow. Wow. This is utterly amazing. The extended metaphor and imagery is so beautiful… great job.

awesome metaphor! I love that you kept the same theme throughout, you didn’t get lost in metaphors like some poetry I’ve read. great job!

Very, very well done.