“I..I…but..he….” I choked on my own words, I just stayed silent…I never wanted this to happen …especially again..

I
was
silenced

not in silence..
silenced

“Fay..Fay..Fay! FAY !” Jake said trying to regain my attention, I stared at him blankly, trying to get myself to speak words…but I couldn’t.

Oh my god..the look on Jake’s face..it was like he was the one who committed the crime..

No..Im sorry….Im truly sorry Jake…

“Fay..please..please dont do this to me…just..you don’t even have to tell me..just..just..don’t do this to yourself..because it hurts me too.” Jake pleaded

And for once…I felt wanted.
Needed.
Loved.
Cherished.
Useful.
...
Head over heels..

I grabbed Jake and whispered right in his lips..”I’m sorry”

And well..I kissed him..for real, with out holding back. Atleast trying not to..

Trying to block out the misery, lonliness, the self drenched pain..

It was all gone..but only for a moment, it came rushing back, but I held on…