I gave up
all hope
and attraction
to every other being
when i realized I loved her
and only her
and that I would want to do anything to protect
her
even jump infront of a bus
or dive into a pool
I would do it for her to see her safe. and I can’t do that
I can’t protect her it isn’t my job
and she won’t let me
and she will go away
and I’ll be alone
and she won’t remember what it is
and I’ll walk around the school
and see her
and she won’t say hi
or anything
and I’ll remember
the stupid things i’ve done
and how much i miss her
and wish the gun on my dresser were real
so that I could finally
once and for all forget
but i would never be able to do it
because I wouldn’t let her be the cause of my death
after she was the reason i chose to live