The atmosphere around my house was very sad and depressing.Part of me was happy that there was no loud mouth Brett around.But at the same time, my family was suffering and in distress for the exact same reason – his demise. He was a vegetable now, according to the doctors.Mom wouldn’t let them take Brett off of the machines, because she said that we should never give up hope.We didn’t have a funeral for him,but my mother had gone into Brett’s room for one last time to say goodbye.She asked me if I wanted to,just in case there was anything I had left to say to him.I could think of some things.But I knew being a Christian boy it wouldn’t be right for me to say them out loud to anyone, much less a dying man in the hospital.I wondered if God would forgive me for the way I reacted to Brett’s death, in addition to being gay. I also hoped that He could somehow forgive Sam for what he did, because it was to defend me from my mom’s abusive boyfriend. Finally, in my heart, I hoped that Brett would be forgiven too.