_{couple of months later}

I sobbed throughout the morning. It was so stupid of me, but I did it anyway. After Liam finished his bowl of cereal he came up to me to say, “It’s okay Mommy, it’s just school.”

I sucked in a sob to say, “Yes but it’s your first day.”

“I’ll be fine. I promise.” The doorbell rang. Liam jumped at the chance to answer it and once he opened the door I heard him shrill, “Joel!”

“Hey buddy, you excited about going to school?”

“Uh-huh! I don’t know about Mommy though.”

“Oh Hazel it’s fine. It’s just his first day of school.”

“I know, I’m being silly.” I truly wasn’t though. I was too happy that Liam lived to be this old, to see this day.

I remember the doctors telling me it would be a miracle for Liam to survive 5 years, and yet here he is in perfect health. Another sob left me and Joel tried to comfort me from whatever I felt was wrong.