My heart beats heard in my chest. I breath quick ragged breaths.
“May-may you repeat?” I hear my choked reply.
“Robin is dead. He threw himself into the Thames. I’m so sorry. I understand you loved him”
I shake my head. I feel my body shudder violently. My heart has stopped, I know it has. All meaning is gone. In my blurred state of mind I feel Kaermedy’s hand on mine. But I rip away from her. Finally I let out full tide howl filled with nothing but grief. I feel mybody collapse. As Mr. Casawa helps Karmedy to bring me inside I become unattached to my body, I feel a sudden lightness to my limps, my breathing quites. Still my heart is so silent.
It’s all my fault. I know it is. If I hadn’t told him to leave. If I had someway found a way to love him. If I had let him take me away to America. He’d still be alive. It’s all my fault, and I’ll never, ever forgive myself
I weep and weep. I never thought so many tears could fall from me, so much agony could ripple through my body.