Hands shaking. Fingers, shaking. Typing. Fast. Typing.. then deleting.. typing.. deleting.. typing.. deleting. Second guessing.

No one knows what it’s like, to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes. No one knows what it’s like, to be hated, to be fated, to telling only lies

I’m not like you. I’m not making myself a victim. I’m not trying anymore. I’m giving up.

But my dreams, they aren’t as empty, as my concience seems to be

That’s a lie. I’m trying so damn hard, just none of it… none of it ever works.

No one bites back as hard, on their anger. None of my pain and woe, can show through

Why am I trying? Why am I not showing it? I know you’ll get hurt. I hurt myself instead.

If I swallow anything evil, put your finger down my throat. If I shiver please give me a blanket. Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

Begging
I don’t want to want your help
I’m self-destructive
I just don’t want to need you like I do
It’s easier not to feel

No one knows what it’s like