And so it happens.
The whole reason I ever set foot in this place was so that I could feel part of something.
So that the whole damn world didn’t sit so squarely on my shoulders for once.
I needed breathing space but I wasn’t short of air.
No, it wasn’t air I was lacking.
It was some sort of acceptance. No, more than that.
It was a desperate and pathetic need for reassurance.
Reassurance, not that what I was doing was great or even good, but rather that what I was doing made even the slightest difference.
And, oddly enough, it wasn’t that hard to find.
Every waking second of my day become devoted to finding someone who could reinforce my confidence within myself; of what I had to offer.
But even then, it was a hollow victory.
It left me wanting so much more than I had ever dreamed I was capable of needing.
I became greedy. Feeding on the praise and support of others, I forgot that it all comes at a price.
So, to remind me of that, they took it all away.
And now, I have to start all over again.