...and suddenly the author of the original sweater ad burst in, wielding a plain black-ink Bic.

“Okay.â€? She snarled. “This has gone way too far. Step away from each other right now.â€?

Penelope, initially frozen by shock, awkwardly climbed down. The author turned to her and said kindly,

“You really aren’t in the mood for sex just now, are you? You’ve only just come out of a really nasty break-up.â€?

Penelope nodded, sheepishly gathering up her clothes as the author continued,

“Then go find the sweater. It’s waiting.â€?

“Oh…okay.” And Penelope jogged into the bathroom to dress.

Meanwhile, the author turned to the so-far-unnamed man with a far less merciful expression.

“As for you…”, she said.