“WHAT?” I said.

“Listen, I’ve been giving it alot of thought, these past few minutes, and I just don’t think I can be with a woman who can’t bring me home a pie.”

“You’ve got to be joking with me. You’re breaking up with me over a pie?” I asked.

“Everyone has their boundaries. And you’ve pushed mine.”

“Ken, we’ve been together for 15 years!”

“Well, i’m sorry we wasted our time. Perhaps it’s partially my fault. Perhaps I should have asked you to bring home a pie earlier.”

“But, what about the house?” I asked.

“Oh, i’m not an unreasonable man. You can have until the end of the week to move all your stuff out. And I’ll even let you sleep on the couch tonight, if you need to.”

“And the kids?”

“Well, I think it would be best for me if they went with you.”

“I don’t have any where to go.” I said, nearly begging.

“And I don’t have any pie to eat, but you don’t hear me complaining.” He said, as he opened the door and escorted me out of my house.