How could something that was once so wonderful, suddenly become so sad? Those first few weeks of happiness, when everything was perfect, when I’d spend hours just staring in awe.

I wish I could have just stopped time back when things were perfect. Remain in that glow of the first few weeks forever.

Now there are wants, needs, demands. Everything has to change, things have to be fixed. And if they’re not fixed? It’ll all be over. Even my cat is less demanding.

There isn’t anything I can do, there is no room for negotiation. Repairs must be made.

So I pay for the repairs, spend my hundreds, hoping to capture a little of that original glow. It isn’t the same, the trunk doesn’t open properly, there are scratches on one door, the windshield is a little scratched. But those initial moments with it, and those keep me going. Keep me searching.

Someday I’ll find that happiness again, when I’m willing to start all over. For now…I just remember.