Leaving gooey destruction in its wake, Snailzilla oozed back into the turquoise depths from whence it came.

Who knows why it chose to erupt (slowly) from its watery slumbers? Who can tell what provoked it into the (rather sedate, and quite beautiful) mating frenzy with New York? Perhaps only Professor Limpopo Flatnat, international playboy and mollusc expert.

Even now, the National Guard are combing the sticky ruins, searching desperately for a trace of the gallant Professor. Last seen leaping onto the writhing gastropod from the top of the Empire State building, a rusty letter-opener in one hand and a salt shaker in the other, his last words screamed over his shoulder to his faithful assistant, Juan: “I’ve always loved you, you know!”

He gave his life for the city, and the assistant, he loved. Perhaps his rapid application of salt caused the great beast to retreat, or perhaps, its fearsome lust slaked (and slathered) on the back of Liberty herself, the creature lost interest. We shall never know.