Nouvelle Bardot sits at her Ikea computer desk as she logs on to Ficlets.com. She takes a swig from an overly large bottle of Sanfaustino water.

ooh, netflix, i wonder what i should order next…

scrolls down list of classic french films

boring

boring

seen it

own it

those bastards have Band of Outsiders!

adds film

la perfection.

NB’s phone rings, she answers it.

Christopher mon amour !

is trapped in long discussion about john water’s films and boycotting the new Hairspray movie

Christopher: So, I want to join the Peace Corps!

NB: Then why don’t you?

Christopher: I can’t, because I’m IN LOVE !

NB: Ha! Can I quote that? That was hilarious, hold on I need a pen!

ends conversation

okay, back to business…

i need to take this story somewhere…

...if only i could go along with it.

okay, i need inspiration

taps pen on desk

looks over at sleazy, deadbeat boyfriend

I’VE GOT IT !

david bowie!