LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOL thts sumthin my guy friends wuld do to me to – this is like, story of my life, except for the whole “ty” part. I LUVV IT !
this is a truly terrible piece of writing. as are the prequels and sequels. i’m not really trying to be mean but you have only a vague iea about your plot. your characters and the things that happen to them aren’t realistic at all. she walks him home and then falls asleep on his couch, somehow his shirt falls off and he wakes her up unaware that his friends are crouched in the corner videotaping them? and what kind of person wants to watch two people sleep anyway?
people really want to watch pornography or an actual movie. not people sleeping. and how did they get into the house? when she wakes up isn’t she going to be kind of curious as to what’s even going on? I don’t know how old you are but my 12 year old nephew writes better. You’d never get anything remotely close to this published ever.
Dear kneespun I believe you have to look at this from a different perspective. There is something called reading between the lines and that is just what you may have to do with this piece. Read the next comment I will post
For some reason I get the feeling Ty really does know that the boys are in the corner I could be wrong but I feel the writer was going somewhere with that. I don’t think his shirt magically fell off either.What makes this story horrifying is the reality of the situation as I am sure this has happened to many girls.Granted this is not the best piece I have ever seen but it has potential
And if the writer is young this gives them much time to become familiar with different writing styles and they will become more knowledgeable on what to add or leave out.
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