Now wait a second, how did this happen? All I wanted to do was step outside for a quick smoke and stay dry and now look what you have gone and done!
How dare you, I paid good money for you and this is how you treat me?
What are you good for? Absolutely nothing I would say! I am going to have to leave you here in this shape if you don’t get it together and get back in my hand. Hurry up, my smoke is getting wet and I am getting angry. I need my nic fix and I want to stay dry!
Look, you get one more chance, it is either my way or the Long Island Expressway!
What, you don’t like this tone? You know what I have to say about that, too bad! I paid for you and I can treat you anyway I want, and right now, I am angry and you know how I get when I am angry!
That does it, my smoke is soggy and I look like a wet poodle. I am done with you, you can just stay here in pieces! I have your replacement waiting for me in the coat closet!