“I fell off my stool,” Damien said.

“What?” the officer’s eyes narrowed. Andy turned to Damien, stunned. “I thought,” the officer continued, “you said this man pushed you off your stools and grabbed the box off the counter.”

Andy started to answer, but Damien cut him off. “Sorry, my bad. No, we fell off our stools. We’re very clumsy.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” Andy whispered, dragging Damien away from the cop.

“I know what was in that box. That was some vile shit. I’m like, like, like an accessory or something. And I am not getting up in front of a courtroom full of people, including your mom, my parents, my girlfriend, and God-knows-who-else to admit in public what I saw. Fuck that. I have a job, for Christ’s sake, I have people I have to face on Monday morning.”

“I can’t believe-”

“Yessir, officer. I’m a klutz. Sorry to have wasted your time.”

“You’re not going to testify.”

“No sir. I was just excited my order of fries had arrived.”