I pledge allegiance to the flag,
promising loyalty to a cloth. This country is NUTS !

Of the United States of America.
Wait, isn’t this country split in two, and they’re fighting?

And to the Republic for Which it stands,
Heh. What about the saying, “United we stand, divided we fall”?

One Nation,
In half.

Under God,
Well… okay you got me there.

Indivisible,
IT’S DIVIDED ! WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CIVIL WAR !

With Liberty and Justice for all.
What about the slaves?

Epilogue:
The Patterson Brothers were real people. This is what I think they thought of the Pledge of Allegiance when they came from Ireland in the middle of the civil war. Thank you for reading and PLEASE RATE AND COMMENT !