Rise of the Swamp Sucker

“Goo?” the baby blurbed.

“Gah, sweetie, will you take care of this thing?”

“It’s not a ‘thing’, Fred, he’s our baby!”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m kinda busy here!”

“Oh, it’s all about you, isn’t it? Just because the Swamp Sucker comes in town, you’ve got to ignore our infant?”

“Honey!” He grunted as his hand met solid sewage. “I can’t help it if—if people’s lives need saving! Besides,” he added, coaxing an earsplitting roar out of the beast, “you’re the mom, that’s what mom’s are for, right?”

She sighed. “Look, Fred—”

“Call me by my name!”

“The Dark Avenger,” she mocked in a dumb voice. “Yeah, yeah. Just. . .change his diaper once in a while, would you? The place is starting to smell like a sewage plant.”

“Ah, no, that’s the Swamp Sucker-” He got slapped in the gut.

“Well, all right. But as a father, I expect you to be there for Boy Avenger. You know, I still think we should’ve just named him Greg.”

“Boy Avenger’s much better. Trust me,” he said as fist met sewage.

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