Monkeys make horrible spouses. They make even worse errant knights. (We won’t even mention how terrible they are at slaying dragons.) Yet here she was, married to this small furry creature.

It’s her father’s fault, really. He’s the one who signed that stupid faerie contract that obliged her to marry whomever rescued her. Unfortunately for her, there was a loophole in the contract that obliged her to marry whatever rescued her. Even more unfortunate was the fact that this monkey hired the best simian law firm in the kingdom.

Fortunately, she was excused from her ‘wifely duties’ on biological grounds. Even more fortunate was that her new husband was wealthy. This only made her life slightly easier. She still had to face social humiliation as well as the primitive behavior of her husband. His idea of romance involved grooming her. His idea of chivalry involved biting anyone who smiled. (We won’t even mention the things he liked to throw.)

It could, she thought, be worse.

She could have married a shrub.