The quick, brown fox jumped over the lazy dogs. And the dogs were lazy because they worked at dull jobs all day. After many years, they became dull themselves.

Nothing excited them. They had no time to hunt for bones. If they were hungry, they would run to the corner mart and buy substandard bones—three for a dollar on Tuesday.

They didn’t chase cars. They drove them. They yelped insults at the dogs that chased them, but they secretly envied the simple lives of simple dogs.
They didn’t worry about pleasing their masters, because their masters just wanted punctuality and efficiency.

They didn’t get excited about bitches in heat anymore. Not with photos and movies of all the best-looking, professionally groomed and sculpted bitches right at their workstations. And these bitches were always in heat. The bitches that surrounded them in real life were always second-class when compared to the internet bitches.

And they certainly didn’t care about a stupid, jumping fox. The hell was he so excited about, anyway?