“Like me? Why not you?” I questioned relentlessly.
“I,” she replied haughtily, “am the Fish Keeper. It’s my job to look after you babies. Make sure you don’t climb the roof or something. Hey, it’s all part of our scarily successful hazing package, now only $19.99 after a 50-dollar mail-in rebate, only in the continental US.” She smirked and laid back, totally at ease under the huge oak tree.

3 hours later

I had to admit, I’d never truly appreciated CFC ’s, the sun, and Texas’s naturally dry-n’-hot climate in general. 3 hours later, I was reduced to wiping my sweat on my thoroughly ruined shirt under the scanty shade of an overgrown bush. Over the course of the day, about 20 more fishies had straggled in, only to be informed of their predicament by the junior under the oak tree. Even a transfer senior was here, looking injured that he had to spend the rest of the day with little stupid fishies. The way I saw it, he wasn’t much better off, except the junior openly flirted with him. Wow. Huge improvement.