With your smile, your face became a tale of a modern moral wasteland. Your eyes seemed dimmer to me in that instant, and I wondered just when it was that I had lost you. Was it at the hotel party in February when you binged on ‘celebratory’ coke? Or was it in April when you played with that little girl Heather but couldn’t even hold an erection as you tried to fuck her? Or maybe in July when you overdosed on, what was it, librium? and got so dehydrated from lying in the sun that we had to take you to the ER? Or right now, sitting in Le Pierre drinking your fourth? fifth? champagne kir while concentrating on the moment with that stupid smile on your face, playfully forgetting who I am? Or is it me who has forgotten who you used to be? There was a time in which I knew you, in which I loved you, but that feels like nothing more than a distant memory now. As though it were a dream. The restaurant suddenly felt very quiet.