“Hi.”

“You must hate hearing from me. I tried calling you on James’ cell. Took me three times to figure out you weren’t picking up because of caller ID.”

“Three?” I felt hollow. Good thing I’m sitting. “That wasn’t him.” I quickly added: “I didn’t want to -.”

“You felt noble ignoring him when he was trying to reach you?”

“Yes.”

“It’s no less noble.” she cleared her throat and said: “You loved him.”

“Still do.”

“But, you’re -.”

“Staying away, no matter what,” I assured her. “I want my own husband, not someone else’s.”

“I thought you knew about us -.”

“Never came up.”

“I should leave him, shouldn’t I?”

“I can’t tell you that. You’ve got the kids to think of too.”

“How do you love him and still -?”

“He made me his whore.”

“I was hoping you’d have some insight -.”

“You’ll find your own reason to do what you do.”

“I don’t know where to look. But I won’t bother you again.”

“Good luck,” I said, and I meant it.

I called my sister. “Hi Amy. Want company?”