But, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. It would be so easy. I could pull out my lazer pen, spin around, and just shoot Jaklien right between the eyes. And it’d be over. I wouldn’t have to kill Shade. I wouldn’t have to do anything. But then I’d be like him. Killing people to solve problems. I approach my hedgehog hybrid human of a boyfriend.

“Shade, this is gonna be crazy,” I say, carefully choosing my words.

“What, baby?” he asks.

“I’ve… been told to kill you.”

“WHAT?!?”

“Look, all you have to do is disappear until I kill Jaklien. Then I can go back to you, and back to working for Chester.”

“Fine, fine. Whatever. And when will that be? Forty years from now?”

“Don’t do this…”

“Do what? I’m being told to play dead, like some dog, BY MY GIRLFRIEND ! I’m a little miffed!”