I think you should definetly add a sequel to it. I dont really know if you should keep the same title though….. I guess it’s Good anyways!

mm, it need some punctuality editing, but it’s a verrry good story – i’m thinking of sequeling =]

ok thx one time one chance i will fix it later and it would be cool for you to make a sequels

Babyphat -
Grammar is your friend.
Don’t be so afraid of it.
The idea is solid, but the story needs reworking and grammar.