The God of the Dead Falling in Love

“Ooh!” she squeals as she steps out of my chariot. “What a lovely place!”
I can’t disagree more. Living in a place solely reserved for 3-headed dogs and dead people gives me the creeps (especially if Zeus had let me rent a modern-day Asian horror movie that day) at night sometimes. Still, it suits me far more than the skipping-through-a-field-of-flowers-singing-type kingdom Zeus has, and the damp, moldy kingdom of my brother Poseidon (with all his slutty daughters-I mean nymphs-wandering around hitting on males of all species…ugh.). My kingdom is all black with accents of white and ivory everywhere (black on black is so boring). I always thought it’s drab, but if Persephone likes it so much…
The same goes for Cerby, my dog (albeit the 3-headed one). She tosses him a woolly mammoth bone, then giggles as the heads fight over it. I never noticed how cute…how cute Cerby is. Yeah. That’s what I meant.
eek, I think to myself, i’m god of the dead. i can’t fall in love.

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