Diatribe to Yours Truly, from the In-Laws
“Err, in the shower I believe,” I say, conveniently neglecting to mention I was in there too.
“The OUTRAGE !” she shrieks, overturning my handmade black coffee table.
“Hey, now,” I say, feeling my blood pressure start to rise (it’s time like these I’m thankful I’m immortal). Okay, on the other hand, I did technically kidnap her daughter, I think in a futile effort to keep me calm.
“Demi, darling, do calm down,” says Zeus mildly.
I shoot him a ‘thanks, bro’ look. He responds with a blank stare, holding his nose in the air (he looks like Cerby sniffing for treats).
“Persephone was the one to suggest it, actually,” I say in my defense.
“Did she really?” asks Zeus, looking impressed. “I told you your over protectiveness would hurt her someday,” he said, turning to Demeter. She looks shocked, then resumes her diatribe.
“Nevertheless, she is our daughter, and I demand her back!” she snaps, tossing her hair.
“Well, actually we’re married now, so I get first dibs,” I retort.
Well, that didn’t help…