At least selling your soul to the Devil is pretty cut and dried. You were given a piece of paper, and then you signed it, often in blood, and someone notarized it and the Devil would leave and add it to His porn collection or something.

Selling your soul on ebay was something else altogether. It was one of those things that started out as a joke and—okay, okay, we were drunk at the time, but still it was mostly a joke that became not as funny once we were done.

Way we figured it, my soul would have us in cheap beer and pretzels for half a year.

The hard part was figuring out how to ship it, and the the S/H costs. We picked $3.33, because it felt right.

Bastard customer e-mailed us saying it had been damaged in transit a week later, and now it’s gone to the lawyers. The really funny thing is I don’t feel any different at all—it’s not like I was using my soul for anything, after all.

But I’m starting to consider the benefits of being a lawyer.