Ficlets

Doesn't Anyone Think of the Deaths

“At least you still get calls! I would be grateful even for one!” called another Death in a thick French accent. It was Death by Decapitation.

D.A.I walked back to the ‘lounge,’ and sat at D.D’s table.

“Ze last time I got a call was a couple hundred years ago! I miss ze old days! I was getting called every day, to collect the dead from Madame La Guillotine. Ah, I miss her so.” he said, as if he were thinking fondly of an old lover.

They sat, and sipped scalding hot tea, prepared by Death by Fire Related Incidents.

“I miss the old days, too, man, when they still killed criminals with good old rope tied to a tree,” said Death by Hanging, “Back before ‘Mr. Electric Chair’ was invented and Death by Electrocution had his hayday. But now they’ve even replaced him!”

“I hear you, D.H., It’s always either Suicide, Death by Poison, or Death by Projectile, nowadays.” said D.A.I. “All for the sake of being humane, don’t they know how bored we Deaths get when they’re always killing everyone the same way?”

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