It sounds more comanding than anything. I agree very creepy.
By the way, you know the Ryan character is just a part of my story right?
Or are you just getting connection with my story
(:!

Lol great job, your diction and tone really show off your “Creeped Outedness” with this place.
Advertising media really suprises me now a days, lol, what they use to try to attract people is sometimes so absurd. Lol.
[ O the story I wrote is about a band that reminds me of a boy, and they seem to play everywhere now adays lol:] for me anyways. So im constantly rem. of him.] Thanks for the review:] Keep writing, your amazing at it, I can’t believe your twelve, based on the level of writing in the article.