The Toaster Adventures, Part I

“You need to check the toaster,” my wife said. “It’s burning toast again.”

“This is what happens when when you set the toaster level to ‘burn,’” I said.

“Very funny,” she said. “But it’s burning the toast on the level where it’s just supposed to dry it out. If I put it to the ‘dark’ level the house would probably burn down.”

“Get a new toaster when you go out shopping,” I said.

“That’s a waste,” she said. “It’s probably fixable. I don’t want to just another idiotic consumer.”

“I like consuming,” I said.

She came over an patted my belly. “This I know,” she said. “Try to fix it, okay? If you can’t, I’ll get a new one.”

“Fair enough,” I said.

Ten minutes later it was me, the toaster and a screwdriver. And the floor. Because, see, I forgot something fairly important: When working on kitchen appliances, it helps to unplug them first.

While I was waiting for my wife to return and mock me, the strangest thing happened…

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