How Not To Be The First Serial Killer In Space

The first serial killer in space looked around his new spaceship proudly and went straight to the control room. After a frenzied search for the radio and several hours paging through the manual, he made a transmission.

“Er… s’anyone out there?”

“Come again?”

“Oh, good, it works. Ahem. PEOPLE OF EARTH !”

“You’re only talking to me, brother. What’s going on over there?”

“I have experienced a great revelation.”

“Does that revelation explain why your ship is aimed at the sun? Because that’s a damned expensive ship for you to be turning around now.”

“Er, yes. It does. Allow me to speak to the people of earth!”

“Who are you, anyway?”

“I am the first serial killer in space! Bring me the ears of the people! I have great things to say!”

Inexplicably, his command was followed. Down on the planet, the holovisions faded into static and then displayed waiting bubbles. The people gathered around to hear his words, he knew, and he was prepared tell them a story they would never forget.

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