He blinked. The expression on his face…it would have made you think that I’d clobbered him over the head with a bat. “I…i…” he said. His uncertainty threw me off balance. I needed him to stand up tall and tell me the things I didn’t want to hear. “Well?” I said. “Well…what?” he said. “Make me walk away,” I said. He looked stunned. “Wha-?” “Make me walk away,” I repeated, my voice rising. “Tell me you don’t feel the same way. Tell me you want me to go away. Make me go home and collapse.” “But…I don’t want to,” he said. “Yes you do!” I said, gritting my teeth. My chest felt like it was ready to explode. “You want me to go away! You need me to! Make me leave! Make me go home! Make me…MAKE me forget you!” I said. Tears started spilling out. My face felt hot, and my lips quivered. “I need you to be the one…to say goodbye,” I said more quietly. “I can’t walk away unless you tell me to.”
I started breaking down completely, and he held me in his arms. I couldn’t bring myself to break away.