I’d had the impression I was falling, but I didn’t really realize it until I caught onto something. Here was his hand, outstretched, and ready for me to hold it. I wasn’t sure whether i wanted to keep falling rather than drag him down with me. It hurt me in the worst way to keep him suffering like this. I desperately wanted him to tell me goodbye. It wasn’t that he was leading me on, it was more like I was leading myself on. I couldn’t fully heal until he left.
i sat there, clutched in his arms. I finally got control of myself, too weary to stand. I just rested my head against his shoulder, waiting for the words to come out of his mouth. I looked up at him, and he was looking down at me. His eyes twinkled.
Gently, with his hand, he turned my face towards him, and lifted my chin up with his thumb. He brushed his lips ever so softly against mine, and he pulled back for a fraction of a second. Then he pressed hsi lips against mine.
After a moment, he pulled back. “i’m not saying goodbye,” he whispered.