Ficlets

Pep Squadder's First Date

“You’re a repulsive, irritating, acne-infested snotwipe, Lucius. The parasites that live in the fungus growing on your rash have halitosis, and your armpits don’t smell so good either.”

“You brought me all the way out here just to tell me that?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I’m going to cry now, Veronica. I seriously think I’m going to cry.”

“Now tears? Go ahead, add another bodily fluid to your list of fashionable secretions, it’s not like you’ve got a reputation to protect.”

“So we’re sitting on a grassy hillside under a vast and glorious starscape, on this most tranquil of nights, having just finished a romantic dinner and shared our first kiss as the sun went down, and you turn and gaze into my eyes with a sigh and tell me how utterly detestable I am.”

“It’s what I do.”

“Oh, well go right ahead then. Sorry to offend.”

“It’s nothing personal.”

“Of course not. You’re just expressing yourself. Additionally, go to hell, you verminous skank.”

“That wasn’t very nice.”

“We can’t all be cheerleaders. Hugs!!“

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Pep Squadder's First Date
FlirtingWithaBrickWall
Posted 9 months ago

im not entirely sure what happened here. maybe b/c it’s mock hollywood and i live in the real world
Pep Squadder's First Date
uselessness
Posted 9 months ago

Eh, it’s a mockery of popularity as a whole, and the condescending attitude that seems to come with it. Are “popular” people better than The Rest Of Us, and is a person’s worth determined merely by how attractive s/he is? This story is how catty cheerleaders break up with guys, times a hundred. Or something. Ah, the joys of being perfect all the time… ;-)
Pep Squadder's First Date
FlirtingWithaBrickWall
Posted 9 months ago

“perfect”. sure. yeah, i just noticed the title, and hindsight bias convinces me i would have caught your drift before if id noticed
Pep Squadder's First Date
Alexa ♥
Posted 9 months ago

Poor Lucius. It doesn’t sound like he’s doing well.
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Thanks for entering my challenge!
Pep Squadder's First Date
SKermitgorf
Posted 9 months ago

Awesome insult in 1st paragraph, next time I need to insult someone, i’m going to use it .
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LOL..
Pep Squadder's First Date
Stovohobo
Posted 9 months ago

I agree with Kermitgorf; however, some cheerleaders being cheerleaders, I’m not sure they have the capacity for such big words.
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“Now tears? Go ahead, add another bodily fluid to your list of fashionable secretions, it’s not like you’ve got a reputation to protect.” Best line, saddest attitude.
Pep Squadder's First Date
One Time, One Chance
Posted 9 months ago

i personally don’t cheerlead, but are all cheerleaders REALLY THAT BAD ? i kno a view, but maybe it’s just my area?
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LOL ! i LOVED the last line – HUGS ! tht is just.. perfect end =]
Pep Squadder's First Date
BetwINeen
Posted 8 months ago

funny…but i didn’t get it at first…now i do
Great last line (:
Pep Squadder's First Date
Hunting Beauty
Posted 8 months ago

hahahah….luv this one. But not ALL cheerleaders are like that…I used to be a cheerleader, and I have some really nice friends that are cheerleaders.
Pep Squadder's First Date
flute faerie
Posted 6 months ago

I ♥ this. But actually, this is the basketball players at my school, not the cheerleaders. Weird, huh?