Just One More {Challenge: mundane object}

by Tiggerstripn2

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As I waited in line at the supermarket, I noticed a woman with a small boy.
She was pleading with the manager ;
she had tears in her eyes.
I made it through the line and made my purchase.
Passing the woman who was still pleading with the manager, the little boy looked up at me and smiled.
I smiled back and walked out the doors.
Thirsty, I stopped at the cola machine inside the entrance and started to dig through my purse looking for change.
I needed just one more quarter.
A second later the little boy ran out and climbed on the pony ride outside the doors, his mother wiped tears from her eyes,
“less go Tommy I need to go look for a job”.
Tommy pulled a quarter from his pocket and place it into the slot, “mommy one more” he said “please”.
“But baby I don’t have another one, come we have to leave” she said.
I looked at the quater in my hand and dropped it to the floor. It rolled to the woman’s feet ; I smiled at her and walked out the door.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. Just One More {Challenge: mundane object}

    m8ryx's Buddy Icon m8ryx

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    awesome…saw where you were going a mile away, but I wanted to see how you got there.

  2. Just One More {Challenge: mundane object}

    Alexa ♥'s Buddy Icon Alexa ♥

    Posted 12 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Your narrator seems a little cold, but realistic.

  3. Just One More {Challenge: mundane object}

    Batak Beatrix's Buddy Icon Batak Beatrix

    Posted 12 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    The format made it a little difficult to read, but overall I really liked where you went with this; the struggle of the mother’s to please her son despite a lack of money and the kindness of a stranger.

  4. Just One More {Challenge: mundane object}

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 12 months ago

    let the child have one fun ride, it’ll make you feel better, one small moment of cheer in a very dreary, sad day.

  5. Just One More {Challenge: mundane object}

    Blossom Ruoqen's Buddy Icon Blossom Ruoqen

    Posted 12 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I really like the feel of this story, although the narrator seems really serious in this saddening ficlet you still ended it on a hopeful note.
    yeay for tigger!

  6. Just One More {Challenge: mundane object}

    Insert Pen Name Here 's Buddy Icon Insert Pen Name Here

    Posted 11 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Oh, i like this one!

  7. Just One More {Challenge: mundane object}

    Brebelles' Buddy Icon Brebelles

    Posted 11 months ago

    this is SOOO good!

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