Not Yet A Bright And Free Brick

by artistsrunwild

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The bicycles inside your skull send you away and off you go.
“Are you even listening to me?”
She turned; she’d been thinking about someone else. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “What were you saying?”
“Do you think I should break up with Kane?” her friend asked, fingering the material of a dress she couldn’t afford.
She didn’t know why her friend was so fickle.
All the pretty girls collect their thoughts for you and aggravate your paranoid. Every week her friend had a different boyfriend and she had never even had one. Constantly worrying about her appearance and her personality had made her depressed. She was not fun to be around.
“I’m not really the best person to ask in this situation.” She smiled half-heartedly at her friend. Her lip quivered; she knew she would cry. “I have to go.”
She hated telling people her feelings, but when she thought of him; she wasn’t scared about being herself. She was ready to show someone who she really was.
The lizard skins around yourself drop off and let the others through.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. Not Yet A Bright And Free Brick

    artistsrunwild's Buddy Icon artistsrunwild

    Posted 11 months ago

    “Bullets” by Tunng

  2. Not Yet A Bright And Free Brick

    artistsrunwild's Buddy Icon artistsrunwild

    Posted 11 months ago

    “Bricks” by Tunng

  3. Not Yet A Bright And Free Brick

    FourSeven's Buddy Icon FourSeven

    Posted 11 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    before i read this, i just want to say that the title immediately reminds me of a short story by ray bradbury – “Bang! You’re Dead!” It was an awesome little tale. I think for Christmas I’m going to ask for a book of Ray Bradbury short stories. As far as I can tell, those were better than his novels. I’ll read this now.

  4. Not Yet A Bright And Free Brick

    FourSeven's Buddy Icon FourSeven

    Posted 11 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    i dont really feel any sympathy for your character. she probably needs a good cognitive therapist. or some xanax. because, i mean, look. her friend is asking her about something real, not some imaginative relationship she WISHES she was having, like your character. your character is being a bad friend for not only dismissing her friend in such a cavalier way, but also for feeling contemptuous for the fact that her friend has lots of boyfriends and your character hasn’t any. shes not helping herself.

  5. Not Yet A Bright And Free Brick

    artistsrunwild's Buddy Icon artistsrunwild

    Posted 11 months ago

    i didnt ask you to feel any sympathy…i just wanted to create a reaction just like your comment and the story is not at ALL about the relationship with the friend…it’s about the girl’s inner struggle to be who she wants to be and not have to conform to society’s standards…but if thats what you took from it…that’s fine
    and i hate to tell you…but there are a million girls like this character out there

    and the song is just “Bricks” by Tunng…I don’t know how that extra comment got there

  6. Not Yet A Bright And Free Brick

    FourSeven's Buddy Icon FourSeven

    Posted 11 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    you didnt ask, of course. but i still dont feel sympathy for her. im just letting you know how i feel, and how your story struck me emotionally.
    also, people dont hide as much as they think they do. none of use are THAT good at lying. we ooze self-betrayal with every blink, with every finger movement. we cant keep ourselves a secret on purpose. by walking away from her friend after she was asked an intimate question, this girl said more about herself than she could write in 100 years.

  7. Not Yet A Bright And Free Brick

    FourSeven's Buddy Icon FourSeven

    Posted 11 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    of course, i dont mean to say this was a bad piece or anything. i just think humanity is fooling itself if we all think we are fooling everybody else. we’re translucent at best.

  8. Not Yet A Bright And Free Brick

    artistsrunwild's Buddy Icon artistsrunwild

    Posted 11 months ago

    i’m happy that my story has created this type of philosophical discussion about humanity and yes, she does say more about who she is…she doesnt realise that though

    but i just think you are reading too much into this lol…it’s just supposed to be a little series with lyrics – a “meet cute” if you will

    but im glad you liked it
    read the new sequel…i like it better…i find it easier to write about him lol

  9. Not Yet A Bright And Free Brick

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 11 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I thinks she is jealous of her friend having many boy friends. great ficlet as usual.

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