Silverspur Saloon revised* {nanowrimo}

by Tiggerstripn2

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The rooster crowed outside Ruth’s window, she crawled into her bed maybe she could get a few hours of sleep before she had to start the days chores.
John was back, now what she thought?
“Momma you ok in there “ Penny said sounding a little worried?
“Just a little tired” Ruth rolled over still trying to go to sleep.
“Momma hadn’t slept this late since paw’s been gone”.
Ruth rose around noon and and filled Penny in on the nights events.

“Bar keep Whiskey” he slide the drink over to John.
He downed it then slammed the glass to the bar, another.

The saloon doors busted open the place fell dead silent.
Penny stepped in and stopped, “John Marshall” she said with a grin from ear to ear; running, leaping into his arms.
“Whoa woman” he removed her, standing her on her feet.
She stepped back her smile melted away.
“If you think you can just” she trailed off seeing the grin slowly forming on John’s face.
He winked “well ain’t you a sight for sore eyes little girl”.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. Silverspur Saloon revised* {nanowrimo}

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 11 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Nicely written, but I thought John Marshall was the dad, or at least that’s how I’d been writing it. Perhaps we’re all on different pages. In any case, I had O’Neil down as the love interest for Penny. Oh, the trickiness of collaboration.

    LoA

  2. Silverspur Saloon revised* {nanowrimo}

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 11 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    This is good, but I have to wonder who Penny is talking to when she says “Mamma hadn’t slept this late since…”—seems like an awkward thing to mouth to oneself and no one else is around but her sleeping mother. Perhaps I’m just out of the loop on the story.

  3. Silverspur Saloon revised* {nanowrimo}

    Tiggerstripn2's Buddy Icon Tiggerstripn2

    Posted 11 months ago

    ok I revised it
    the line is a thought, she’s worried about her mother

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